Thursday, September 29, 2005

My Achilles Heel....

Health Care. I hate it, and it hates me. If you ever want to see my blood boil, and or to see the "evil robbyblog" what doesn't talk to anyone, grumping around like some goat-eating bridge troll, then all you have to do is state the words, "Mr. Robbyblog, we need your referral form or you can't have this procedure.", and I will go into a rage that would make a steroid infused amateur wrestler look like the Dali Llama (cuidado!) on Prozac.

But of course, the Dali Llama (cuidado!) couldn't get Prozac, because he would have to fill out all the right forms, and be directed to three different offices paying Allah knows how many co-payments (which are just $20.00 versions of being spit on after a rape, as far as I am concerned), only to be told that he can't get Prozac in his plan, but is only covered for the Bangaledeshian knock off brand called Pearlzic, in which you can still taste the poppy oil.

I am doing my best to post a blog entry about the state of Health care in my life without using profanity, and am finding it very difficult. Needless to say, I would like the take the Powers That Be In Charge of Health Care, and ravage their rectums sideways with the reproductive organs of a large bull male rhinocerous. All I wanted to do today was to masturbate into a plastic cup for our IVF work. As if that isn't demeaning enough, to be sent little boy style into a sterile room to do my filthy business while heavens knows who is watching and sniggering at me, I had to "abstain" from sexual release for two days before said test (which basically means doing my filthy business in the privacy of my own home, but hey, I enjoy it, and even think the Goodely Wyfe was feeling frisky...). But no, apparently I need a referral from a whole 'nother office full of sniggeriung buffoons (who most likely will get paid handsomely) in order to reschedule my clinical masturbatory exploits.

Why, for the love of Bob, why? Is my primary care physician going to say "No, you can't spurt semen into a cup?" Can we not just call him or her up? Is this what we have come to, where a citizen of the most powerful nation on earth cannot whack off into a small plastic cup without a written permission slip? The bill for IVF is going to be around $13,000.00 for a 50% chance of success (call it in the air, folks), why can't I get a little service? I don't have enough to do during the day being an architect, a husband, my own financial planner and a homesteader, but I also have to be a Health Care Manager? I don't have the wherewithall, the knowledge or the ability to read through the 300 pages of "Explanation of benefits" to figure out what the Helena Bonham Carter my benefits actually are, so I am left feeling like I am being led through the Dark And Scary Forest by the very wicked little gnomes that are going to boil me in a big cauldron with some spicy carrots and maybe some wild radishes.

No other "profession" (because these clowns screw up more than anyone I know, I dare call them professionals) treats its clients this way, absolutely none. Why? Because they know they have you by the short and curlies.....you have no choice about what you do, or where you go. You HAVE to have health insurance, and you pretty much HAVE to have the health coverage that your job provides. Its the biggest racketeering scam perpetrated ever.

So "Buyer Beware" folks, and welcome to yet another excellent benefit of being an American, you may lay claim to the most expensive and frustrating health care system in the world.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Qualified Productive Citizen Seeks New Country

My analogy is thus: If you worked for a company that was headed in a direction that you fundamentally opposed, did not provide adequate heatlh care, and was fronted by a complete nincompoop, what would you do? Why, you would get your resume together, go to Monster.com or some other nonsense, and find a new job that met your standards, assuming you were qualified.

So, here I sit, an employee of the United States of America. I look around, and am beginning to realize that this country may not be for me. It sounds ridiculous, but then again, does it? I watch as just after 5 years of the current administration, the country is getting further and further away from something that I can be proud of. I once had a nationalistic streak a mile wide, but these days, I just don't feel like I am backing a winner on the global market.

"But Robbyblog, isn't it better to stay and fight from within to change the system, instead of just upping and quitting?", was the question asked to me by my Goodely Wyfe's super hot sister (more on THAT in another post, I am sure). My answer that, "I am not sure". How long do you stay and "fight"? Do the Generation Xers, of which I am an apathetic member, even do that? I just don't know if I have the will or drive to fight, to lead people to a viewpoint that makes any kind of sense. As I cringe and shake my head at my country, wondering "How the heck can we decide as a nation to pursue these goals, or enact these policies?" I realize that it gets right down to:

We are a democracy, these policies and leaders are all elected by the people, and for the people. Forget that the process of becoming a political candidate is so demeaning that it automatically rules out anyone with true character, the majority of the people of the United States of America actually PREFER to have the country this way, can you believe it? I can't.

I will say that again: The majority of the people of the United States of America actually prefer to have the country this way.

In my 7th grade Civics class, we were asked to create a new government. Guess what? We didn't get a bunch of 50ish white male christian slave owners together and ask them what they thought was best. We decided the best thing to do was to create an Intelliocracy, selecting the most intelligent people from our mythical citizenry to lead us. I know, I know, it was just the ridiculous dreams of a bunch of 13 year olds that dont make much sense when crafting a real leadership.

Riiiiiiigggghhhhhtt.

As opposed to our adolescent Think Tank, we have a country with a figurehead that is really a global joke. We treat our teacher...our frickin' TEACHERS, like garbage, and our tough kids beat up the smart kids. Is it any wonder that our active vocabulary is decreasing every year, and our role models are Paris and Nicole?

So, I am thinking of jumping ship, before the world gets wise, and closes all of its borders to us. I did a quick google search to see what was the best country to live in, and it spit back Norway, chosen by the United Nations (remember that group that we choose to ignore at almost every turn?) as the best place. If their nannies are any indication, that place swings.

Skal, baby, Skal!

Monday, September 19, 2005

While the Wyfe's Away.....

I imagine that were my life an Ivan Reitman film, the fortnight of time that I have spent without my Goodely Wyfe (GF) would have been much different. I was ultimately very surprised at how quickly the time went, and also how quickly into my own decline into bachelor-like stereotype I had lapsed.

It isn't like I had free range goats romping through the dinette, but the place is getting pretty feral in terms of undone dishes, laundry and other of life's simple tasks. I am quite capable of doing these things, but for some reason, without the GF there, they just don't seem important.

So, knowing me, I must be up to all hours of every night each night playing World of Warhamster, right? Would that were the case. Were. I am abashed to say that I really haven't been doing much of anything since Talley left. I mean to, don't get me wrong, but so far, just maintaining the facade of contentment has taken all of my limited faculties. I have met with friends and neighbors for various events and such, which were all grand, but somehow, in Photoshoppe parlance, hitting about 70% saturation without the nearby presence of my beloved.

I donnae jus' say this a'cause she be one o' me few readers, don'cha' know! I think it is important to get out there in the ether that yes, I am still crazy about this daffy broad in a way that has entered even my reptillian brain, curled up, raided my metaphorical humidor, and is enjoying a long and relaxing smoke.

She comes back on Thursday, so I am fixin' to be hankerin'; to be commencin' to be ponderin' to be doin' some emergency housework this week! I hope I succeed.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

On a Day like Today

It seems all things are possible. The sun is shining so brilliantly, birds are singing, and I am floating on air.

Floods in New Orleans.

I bounce into work, greeting all I see with my happiest smile, and friendliest hello. Someone has baked chocolate chip cookies, and I have three for breakfast.

War in Iraq.

Plans are made and confirmed to meet with friends and go to the Renaissance Faire. My cousin and best man at my wedding has a new found love, and his energy is contagious.

I Can't Pay my Bills.

I sing a worksong of ability, talent and determination. Today the designs of towns, buildings and homes will flow from me in a torrent of creativity!

I am worried about my Wife. Is she safe?

Today will be a good day.
Today will be a good day.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The Pidgeon Sisters Have Flown the Coop

Well, that's that then. The Goodely Wyfe and her Goodely Sister (SuzieHulahoop right here at the Blogger) have packed up and flown the coop to help out the Red Cross' efforts in the Big Easy.

I think its great, and if anything, I am jealous of their opportunity to go and do Good Things. I am here, minding the homefront, the store, and the World of Warcraft, while the Goodely Wyfe will be handing out water, blankets and hugs. Sure, we are all worried about those two, with scene after scene of Zombie Movie-esque chaos reigning supreme down there in my parent's favourite vacation spot. Disease, poverty, desperation and seemingly half hearted relief action all combine into a cocktail that I do not want my girls to garnish with their citrusy zesty spirit, but YOU try to stand in their way!

So, they go....and they do good things, for a little over a fortnight, when hopefully they will return having added their energy to the area, and increased their world by just that much more. A Good Friend (tm) of mine was talking to us down the pub last night about how wonderful it was that their actions will ripple out and create new stories for all of us. The Goodely Wyfe and SuzieHulahoop will now have direct Hurricane Katrina stories, as will I. Folks down in New Orleans and Louisiana in general will now have Talley and Susanna stories, which I think is amazing as well. Once again, good for them!

So, who wants to come and Babysit the Husband?