Friday, February 22, 2008

In Which my Daughter Finds Daddy's Junk.

Millie is now 10 months old, a time of almost daily growth and milestones. She crawled this past weekend. Actually crawled a few feet for the first time. Now, this doesn't mean that she is crawling as of yet, only that she has crawled, for which we were teary eyed with happiness. I reckon it is only a matter of time before she is all over the Clutterhut tearing into things, and threatening to charge headlong down the stairs. Childproofing efforts shall commence shortly.

Her lower half is developing nicely, if a bit behind schedule due to the Spina Bifida, but her upper half is right on schedule, and perhaps a little ahead. She has so far mastered the arts of "Where's Millie, There She Is!" and the esoteric "How Big is Millie? SO big!", to the delight of all. Her manual dexterity is amazing to see, and she passes objects back and forth between her hands, and puts thing inside and pull things out of other things with calm alacrity. Indeed, she is a master of all things digital.

In other news, Im a total nudist around the house. Although the Goodely Wyfe has confided in me that even though I have gotten into great shape, casual nudity is not her thing, and isn't much of a turn on for her, I still like to be nude as much as possible. To that end, on my days home with Millie, its frequently "naked time" for Daddy as well.

It isn't going to take a mensa superstar to see where I am going here, but yes, Millie discovered that Daddy has junk the other day, and that said junk is imminently grabbable. I guess it happened for the first time at the changing table, where the heights as conducive to this sort of thing, but my dearest gentle flower of a daughter reached out, grabbed "me" and gave me a wrenching that left me gasping for air and leaving me kneeling and again teary eyed while she giggled maniacally.

I have taken to wearing sleepy pants around the house now. When I can remember.

This morning, I forgot, and we were making little caves under the covers and playing peek a boo when Millie reached out and took "me" into both her hands, and tugged in different directions. She must be part cobra, because she struck faster than I think the eye could follow, giggling all the time. Daddy, of course, was NOT giggling.

I have now taken to wearing sleepy pants CONSTANTLY, and have them on under my work clothes. Mild exaggeration, but you wil allow me some leeway, yes?

So, alas, we offer up the sanctity of casual nudity upon the altar of Fatherhood. I guess it will become more special to me moving forward, as I am left to feeling "comfortable" in my casual nudity (and safe, for that matter) only when the women in my life are out of the house or safely tucked in. Actually, now that I have spelled it out, that doesn't sound all that bad...put the girls to bed, strip down and make myself a nice cuppa. Considering the eyefulls my neighbors and mailcarriers have gotten in the past, perhaps its all for the best.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

The Fab Five

So, it has come to my attention, well, it has been on the radar for quite some time, that as a member of a committed relationship, I get to choose my "five", that is, the five people that I get a "pass" on and am able to have illicit congress with outside of my marriage. I do not know where this concept started, but there you go. Now, as I understand it, these five are not "That hot blonde I used to work with." or even "That Pirate Lady Broad.", or even "That super hot local sports anchor." , as your five are intended to be folk what you couldn't possibly actually get. Honestly, I am pretty sure I could get that sports anchor (Ms Czarniak, if you are reading, I think you are totally hot, but alas, you are a bit too local to make the list!!) with a little bit of intentional effort.

So, the five. I am led to believe that the five are usually from Hollywood, sports and music, and are usually celebrities, so here we go, without further ado, I hereby present: The Robbyblog Five.

First off, of course, is none other than Angelina Jolie. Really, this woman has gone ahead and made everyone's "five" into everyone's "four". Its pretty much a given that Angelina is going to be on your list. I mean, what are you going to do, take the chance that she somehow shows up looking to bump uglies, and you didn't put her on the list? Silly, silly silly. So, by default, this very obvious choice is on my list. Besides being a no brainer, I also would like to confirm a long standing suspicion that I am much better in bed than Brad Pitt, so it would be lovely to put that to the test.

Number Four is the very lovely and talented Gwen Stefani. Again, not really a surprise, because, well....damn. I like this woman a lot, and think she would be a really good time in the sack. With so many different looks, so much talent, well, I think we would have a wonderful time together. 'Nuff Said, Gwen Stefani makes the list.

Number Three may be something of a surprise to some folk, but really couldn't be. Look at the dreamy eyes, the curly hair, the lovely skin and the positively adorable roles he plays, and you have none other than David Krumholtz. Would I top, would I bottom? I'm not entirely sure, but I would hate to miss the opportunity to give him a tumble, either way. Ladies and Gents, the D to the K:

Number Two just came back onto my radar after a long hiatus, the very attractive, always nude and frequently kicking zombie ass...Mila Jovovich. Goodness gracious, but this woman has some staying power. It was a LOT of fun searching picture archives to come up with a photo for the blog...goodness knows there are thousands that would do. I settled on this one, though, and I am sure I did not disappoint.

Number One....ah, sweet, darling number one. Top of the list, cream of the crop, A-Number One. Tina Fey, I think i love you. More than just her incredible sexiness, Ms Fey carries herself with an air of self deprecating humour, a quirky smile and those incredible frames. Ms Fey, Tina if you're definitely are at the top of my list!

So, there you go, my five. I am sure that this is a "living document", subject to change, and a bit of a fluff piece for February, but a nice bit of flippery and funniness for the winter doldrums!